Sterberg love

STERNBERG’S DUPLEX THEORY OF LOVE

Now let us take another psychological look at love, this time from the point of view of Robert J. Sternberg, Professor of Human Development at Cornell University. He came up with the Duplex Theory of Love, called as such because it is comprised of two theories, which were used to be treated separately – the Triangular Theory of Love and the Theory of Love as a Story.

1. Triangular Theory of Love

According this theory, love has three aspects manifested by three components that react and interact with each other.

1. Intimacy, which refers to the caring, closeness, connectedness and emotional support within a loving relationship.
2. Passion, or the states of physiological and emotional arousal that lead to romance and sexual consummation and satisfaction, and other related phenomena.
3. Commitment or Decision, where these two are differentiated by the outlook. Commitment takes the long-term view, referring to the commitment to maintain the love in a relationship. Decision, on the other hand, is short-term oriented, since it involves the conscious choice and recognition of loving someone.

The interaction of these three components can come in various combinations, with one or two aspect being more pervasive than the others, and vice versa. The varied combinations of the components result in eight kinds of love:

1. Non-love – This type of love is low on all three components: there is very little intimacy, the amount of passion is very minimal, and there is neither a decision to love someone nor a commitment to sustain it. It is what one would see between two casual acquaintances, such as lab partners at school, professional co-workers, and business partners.
2. Liking – In this type of love, there is only one component at play, and that is intimacy. Both revel in their closeness and connectedness, and they greatly count on each other for emotional support. An example is the relationship between people involved in group therapy or counseling. They share their pains and experiences, but that is all there is.
3. Infatuation love – Passion is the only component at work here. This is something commonly seen in purely physical or sexual relationships, where there no emotions involved and, therefore, no strings attached.
4. Empty love – This involves commitment and nothing else. The partners are resigned to staying together even when they are not inclined to care for each other or get close enough to provide emotional support, and they don’t even feel any physical attraction toward each other. This is often seen in marriages entered into for purely business reasons.
5. Romantic love – This is high on both intimacy and passion. Physical attraction is present, and their emotions are also involved. However, it does not necessarily mean they will readily admit and decide that they are in love, and that they will keep that love going.
6. Companionate love – This is when both are emotionally involved with each other, and they are keen on keeping their love going for the long term. Best friends have this kind of love, especially when they openly express to make their friendship last forever.
7. Fatuous love – The love they feel is mostly based on how they connect on a physical and sexual level, and they use that to commit to staying together in a relationship they can see lasting for a long time.
8. Consummate love – This is the type of love that has all three ingredients, regardless of the ratio or proportion.